Sister Wives Divorce: “Meri, you have my sympathy.”

sister-wives-season-finale-divorceSo here recently I had been joking about having a sister wife with a dear friend of mine, and after the conversation I started to give it further thought.  If you know me, then you know my further thoughts tend to get derailed and end up in some dark and dank ravines, however this time I was slightly enlightened.  I was a big fan of HBO’s show Big Love, which caused me to take an interest into plural marriages.  Watching the show I became attached to the characters as anyone does in art that interests them and I was able to connect on a psychological level with them as I better understood the ideas of their storylines.  Follow me here.  HBO’s big love did for plural marriages what photo shop does for the fashion industry.  It provided an illusion to both the beauty and the horror underneath the subject line.  I think Kody Brown thought he could pull off the same illusion with the reality television show, “Sister Wives” however his script just isn’t strong enough to get the audience to buy it.

The whole plural marriage idea has left me fascinated for years. While there are disadvantages for both sexes, the advantages become almost desirable the more I think about it.  I practically requested the advantages after the birth of my third child in a broken marriage and up to my elbows in toddlers and housework.  I’ll be honest.  I was tired of having sex with my husband because he was no help and added to list of chores rather than take away from it, I was overwhelmed with house duties and responsibilities, I was sleep deprived to the point mental instability, and no one visited me so I was lonely.  Had it not been for Facebook, my story today might be on the side of tragedy rather than triumph.  So to get to my point, yes I could have used a sister wife.  Someone to live in the home and share my wifely and motherly duties and I do the same in return for her. And since we know men are happy when their sexual needs are met, this would have made a husband happy enough to go out and work to provide for his growing family.

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You don’t even have to say it.  I know this was the “Big Love” illusion of plural marriage that I was seeing, but part of me hoped that it was true.  Then “Sister Wives” aired and I saw what being the first wife really is when I saw Meri Brown in her first interview.  Even if plural marriages are the accepted norm of your culture, there are still psychological characteristics of human behavior that makes this act a struggle for all individuals involved.  (Especially the children)  So when rumors started surfacing that Meri was asking for divorce, I saw the pattern emerge when I saw the age of her child.  And in this case, I believe that as the other children all grow and leave the house, the pattern of the mother separating herself from the chaos will continue. These women with the exception of Robyn, are still in the marriage for their children.  They are no longer in it for the love and affection of Kody.  They are doing what they have to do to survive.  Have you seen their houses???  I see other women bash these sister wives because they “allow” their husband to sleep with other women and I think it’s unfair.  You don’t know what you’d do until you are in that position.  When your greatest fear is not being able to take care of your children you will consider selling your soul to make sure that you do.  These women haven’t made a deal with the devil, but they made a lifestyle choice that helped them survive some of the darkest days of their lives.  And who are we to judge?  I support plural marriage if women are conscientious and educated on the choice they are making and that the man they marry is of sound mind and capable of taking on more than one wife.  (None of that Pimp shit)  I’m happy to see Meri legally free from her ties to Kody.  It will be interesting to see if she will stay out of loyalty or  take her money, sell her house, and keep walking out of necessity.

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