Vivian Vosburg: The Real Story Updated

mom-booked-1018Vivian Vosburg and parents like her are the reason I write on RaisinEmReal.  This mother, and many more like her have children that they cannot control and have resorted to the only efforts that they know; the ones they were raised with.  There once was a time in parenting when we took the phrase “Spare the rod spoil the child” literally.  Parents used to physically beat the crap out of their children like we see Vosburg do in this video because they knew no other options.  And frankly, in low income level homes across the U.S. this is still the case.  There is no education for better discipline strategies because reaching out for help means involving Social Services and then you risk your child being placed into a foster home because the “authorities” feel that you are inadequate as a parent.  And that in itself is no solution because it only hurts the child, stresses the parents, and costs the tax payers.  These parents are often not inadequate, nor do they love their children any less that the rest of us.  They are simply uneducated as to better ways of discipline.  I’m not rich, and I also live among these poverty stricken families that so many of you shake your heads at.  While the rest of you are pointing fingers, I see the inside of this issue, and I understand the frustration.  Vivian Vosburg’s actions are criminal indeed, but sometimes we have to stop and ask ourselves why these criminals have committed these crimes.  Sometimes people steal because they are hungry, and sometimes people are guilty of poor parenting because they feel they have no other options. On one hand, people want to accuse this woman of not controlling her child in the cyber bullying case, but then when she does exercise the only discipline she knows, she gets arrested for it.  She’s damned if she doesn’t and she’s damned if she does. There is more to this video than a mother pounding on a kid.  The child that is unconscious on the floor was put in that state by the child Vosburg is seen punching in the head.  Before the video was shot, the two boys were fighting and one of the boys choked the other one out.  Should Vivian have pounced on the victorious aggressor the way that she did?  No, because as a parent, we cannot solve violence with violence and expect our children not to learn to do the same.  But how else is a woman of her size supposed to subdue and maintain authority over excessive testosterone filled boys who are clearly out of control?  And as a mother trying to control several preteen and teenage kids under one small roof, she reacted the only way she knew how to react. What would you have done in the same situation?  Put the teens in time out?  Can we sit back and say that she is the reason her step-daughter has been accused in a cyber-bully case that has a resulted in a tragic suicide of a 12 year old girl?  Even though I want to defend her because I know how she felt as she lost control in this video, the truth is, yes, her poor parenting has resulted in her step daughters’ behavior as of late.  So while it’s too late for Vivian to learn from her mistakes, it’s not too late for the rest of us. And if you know parents like this, it’s time to step up and talk to them, try and help them out by offering some assistance with these kids as mentors.  So many of us are just one parental meltdown (that our children will record on their cell phone and post to social media) from being this woman’s shoes that we have no right to look at her and jump to the conclusion that she is just evil or plain white trash.  Rather than pretend that we are so much better than this woman, we need to take a closer look at ourselves realize how close we are to being this woman.  Parenting comes with high stress levels, especially parenting teens, and if you just found yourself wondering where your child has picked up some bad language, you might want to pay closer attention to what you are saying when think they are not listening.  Many times our children do pick up bad behaviors from outside sources, but most of the time, they learn it right at home.  Judge not least ye be judged.  Be real with yourself and Raise Em Real.

Here’s the video incase you missed it

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