I realized today that I only have a few more days in which my youngest children will be ages 1, 2, 3, and 4. I love telling people that. They look at me as if I am lying somehow, but I assure it’s possible, and true, I have their birth certificates as proof. Thinking about how I had them consecutively inevitably brings up the question of having more. Of course I wouldn’t dream of getting pregnant again now, but I will admit, as much as it may piss off the rest of the world, I would like another child. I love the thought of big family holidays and knowing there are many shoulders to lean on versus the 2.5 ideal that society pushes on us. If we can afford a large family, we should not be frowned upon for doing so. I’ve had people say horrible things to me during my last two pregnancies, that I’m sure they felt was not out of line, but underneath hurt me. Statements like, “Nobody told you to have all of those children.” offended me because my last two children were the result of failed birth control and my inability to run to a clinic and the “problem” sucked out of me. I even had someone whom I considered a close friend stop talking to me altogether because she felt as if I went past her limit for number of children born to one mother. Now while these things were painful to me, I accepted other’s points of view, but worse than that, I allowed their points of view to shame me into hiding my last pregnancy. I’m not even sure why I felt as if that were the answer. It wasn’t. I did nothing wrong and never again will I be ashamed of any of the lives that I’ve brought into this world.
Society I feel is doing the same to many mother’s who choose to raise multiple children today. It’s a stigmata of sorts to have more than three. Nadya Suleman in my opinion has gotten a bad deal through the media. They watch and criticize her every move while never giving her credit for not abandoning those children or giving up altogether. She’s says that she ended up with 14 children because after 6 she decided to try for one more. She never intentionally tried to get pregnant with 8 babies. And while her decision will remain controversial I couldn’t have heard it said better when The Feminist Breeder wrote, “Yeah, sure, kids are all take, take, take in the beginning, but human beings aren’t children for very long. Before you know it, those helpless babies grow into tax paying adults and contributors to our society. They become fire fighters and nurses and accountants and engineers. Plenty of third, or fourth, or fifth children have built the planes that fly us all safely across the skies, or constructed the homes we live in.”